Anxieties Over Holiday Eating for Bariatric Patients

 Anxieties Over Holiday Eating for Bariatric Patients

Anxieties over food during the holidays are common among bariatric surgery patients and can derail otherwise enjoyable celebrations with loved ones.

Before my surgery, holidays meant spending time with loved ones and eating an abundance of delicious food—sometimes at an unhealthy rate due to the guilt associated with not eating these "special" dishes that are only available during the holidays and that are prepared with such care.

The frequency with which these expressions are used during holiday gatherings is how often?

Are you saying that's all you'll get? My heart went into that meal...
"This won't be available for another year, so you might as well devour it now..."
"This is going to be hard on my emotions if you refuse to eat it..."
I placed an order for these unique products with the express purpose of making this meal...
"Your hunger must be constant..." Celebrate the Season!
"Would you mind taking a little bite, please?"
"Please, there is an abundance..."
"Since you won't be able to finish this in one sitting...,"
„Oh, that's ridiculous! Feel free to stuff yourself silly today!
"Just like the rest of us, you should have gorged yourself in your fat pants..."

I know, I know—this list could be a whole book. Such remarks are stressful enough for people who watch their weight without surgery, let alone for those who have undergone bariatric surgery and must now watch their portion sizes, eating habits, and frequency of eating. If you're anxious about being in the presence of all the festive food at holiday events, know that you're not alone.

The holidays are a time of exceptional foods, and the urge to eat them all can get out of hand. Here are some tips that have helped me and others during this difficult time.

Get your thoughts ready for what's to come: Think about the holidays that have passed and what you can expect this year. Prepare ahead of time what you will say or do if those food pushers try to get you to eat on the "special occasion" by teasing or even threatening you.

2. Get a taste of the holiday nibbles by thinking back on the dishes that your friends and family have always brought you. Get a head start by making a list of everything you will and will not consume. Preparing ahead of time can help you resist the temptation to "cave in" to other people's requests that you eat unhealthy food.

3. Avoid trying anything new at the party; you never know how you'll react to the food, so there's a high chance you'll get sick and have to run to the restroom or sit sick for an hour. The last thing you want is for others to notice you because of this. Stay out of their misery; neither you nor the host or guest will be able to handle it. You should only consume foods that you know for sure will not make you sick.

4. Taste the "special" meals in little portions: When it comes to dishes that are strictly for social expectations, it's best to take a small bite. If the amount on the spoon or fork is too big for a baby's mouth, then you're using the wrong one.

5. Feeling No Guilt by Tossing It: If you're at a social event and don't want anybody to notice how little you're eating, use a small plate with individual amounts. Take small bites of each dish and then TOSS the remainder when no one is watching. This will make you look "ordinary" and everyone will think you've had enough. By doing so, you will spare Great Aunt Gerdie the pain of rejection, as she will actually cry if you decline her special stroke-on-a-plate pie that is 60% sugar, 90% fat, and filled with carbohydrates. Never feel bad about throwing out food that you don't want to eat because it's simply a "different" way to eat. What really counts is that Great Aunt Gerdie takes great pleasure in seeing her pie go.

Sixth, make sure you eat well before you arrive and pack everything you need; you should never show up to a holiday party hungry. That is the epitome of terrible self-sabotage! I think I've talked enough. Bring your own RNY-friendly snacks and beverages. Make sure your host doesn't have to work too hard. Bring along what you know you'll need. You can enjoy the sugar-free pudding cups or fudge sickles that you packed as they chow down on cakes and pies. Plus, if you're not able to consume soda or alcohol, you may always bring your own herbal teas or hot chocolate packets without extra sugar. No one will think you're "suffering" as they eat your NO-NOs, which is great news for you, the host, and the visitors.

The emphasis should be on people, not food, over the holidays, so make sure to converse more than consume. Take part in social activities. Laugh with them, share stories, listen to their wild adventures, play games, etc. Keep your attention on the people. You won't believe how smoothly the gathering goes if you follow these steps and ignore the food. And when the food pushers show up, you can easily avoid them by glancing away and making a hasty exit, claiming that you "want to talk to so-n-so" or that your cell phone is ringing and that you need to excuse yourself. Having a "way out" prepared in advance is totally appropriate.

8. Switch up the food topic: If you go on and on about all the delicious things you won't be able to eat this year, others might as well cry boo-hoo with you. Oh, please don't! Instead of lamenting the fact that you won't be able to eat as many of your favorite holiday sweets, you should boast about how amazing you feel, how much looser your clothing are fitting, and how many wonderful things await you now that you're slimming down. Do not let others feel sorry for you because you are not eating the way you once did.

9. Show off a "knock-out" attire: This holiday season, make a statement in an outfit of which you are very proud. Now that you can wear unique attire, the food doesn't hold the same specialness for you. Rather than gush about your calorie deficit, let them murmur about how stunning you look. When you are confident in your appearance and your self-esteem, the pressure to control your eating will fade away.

10. Don’t stay long; if you’re feeling overwhelmed by other people’s expectations or your own worries, it’s okay to leave the gathering earlier than expected. It could be that you're in need of a break, that the roads are becoming worse, that you're just plain exhausted... Never forget that your "pre-planned" escape route is always available to you.

At social events when it is customary to indulge in special delicacies at designated times, I can confirm that these are strategies that I have employed and continue to employ. True, my fears aren't as crippling as they were right after surgery (which was three years ago), but nevertheless... just a short while ago, they definitely jeopardized my holiday joy!

Above all else, keep this in mind... You can alleviate your terrible Holiday Eating Anxieties by getting a head start. Have a great time!

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